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martes, 18 de diciembre de 2012

"Más allá del peligro", un poema de Sharon Olds.

Una semana después de que murió
de pronto entendí
que su amor por mí estaba seguro:
ya nada lo podría alterar. A veces,
durante el último año, su rostro se iluminaba
cuando yo entraba a su habitación,
y una vez, medio dormido,
sonrió al pronunciar mi nombre.
Respetaba mi arrojo:
la vez que me ataron a la silla,
ataron a alguien que él respetaba, y cuando
dejaba de hablar durante semanas enteras,
yo era uno de los seres a quienes no le hablaba,
alguien con un lugar en su vida.
La última semana lo dijo sin querer:
entré a su cuarto y le pregunté
"Cómo estás," y contestó, "Yo a ti también".
Desde entonces, temí perder esas palabras.
Hasta el último momento podía equivocarme,
ofenderlo. Bastaría una de sus muecas de disgusto
para que volviera a joderme la vida.
Intenté no pensar demasiado,
ayudaba a cuidarlo, le limpiaba el rostro,
lo acompañaba.
Pero un rato después de que murió,
de pronto pensé, con asombro, ahora
siempre me amará, y me reí:
estaba muerto, ¡muerto!

.....

BEYOND HARM

A week after my father died
suddenly I understood
his fondness for me was safe - nothing
could touch it. In that last year,
his face would sometimes brighten when I would
enter the room, and his wife said
that once, when he was half asleep,
he smiled when she said my name. He respected
my spunk - when they tied me to the chair, that time,
they were tying up someone he respected, and when 
he did not speak, for weeks, I was one of the
beings to whom he was not speaking,
someone with a place in his life. The last
week he even said it, once,
by mistake. I walked into his room and said
"How are you," and he said, "I love you
too". From then on, I had
that word to lose. Right up to the last
moment, I could make some mistake, offend him,
and with one of his old mouths of disgust he could
re-skew my life. I did not think of it much,
I was helping to take care of him,
wiping his face and watching him.
But then, a while after he died, 
I suddenly thought, with amazement, he will always
love me now, and I laughed - he was dead, dead!

(Sharon Olds: "El padre", ed. Bartleby, 2004, pp. 76-77; traducción de Mori Ponsowy).

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